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Bless you for writing this. It isn’t so much that I hate reviews as that I tend to get irritated with the way they are expressed. It is extremely annoying when someone declares that something is a good game or a poor game. A game is either a good fit or a poor fit for each specific player. I do think that there is some degree of objective measurability in some respects (i.e. how buggy is the game?), but most of it is entirely based in opinion, just as you said. I also feel this way about book reviews, movie reviews, TV reviews …

o man that is me and dark souls. okay mostly just the throwing the box part

laziness is not an excuse for crappy parenting imo