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Protagonists you hate

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In another thread, @Crazycrab mentioned hating Delphine in Skyrim as much as I do. She's technically a protagonist in the game who is on your side until you refuse to commit murder at her behest, but I always got the impression the developers thought she was overall a righteous character. What other video game protagonists do you hate?

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The entire crew in Star Fox (SNES). They bitch and moan all the time and offer no help whatsoever. They complain when an enemy is on their ass, yet when I shoot it down they yell back that they didn't need my help. And if I do nothing they bitch that I didn't help them. Also half the time when I shoot something down, one of them claims that it was their ship to shoot down. You can't win with those assholes.

And don't even get me started on any Zelda game with a fucking owl in it.

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Everyone in XCOM:Chimera Squad: These are psychopaths, who revel in violence, and plop disgusting jokes between kills, while acting like Karens in between missions.

Niko Bellic - GTAIV: A petty criminal who acts like a petty criminal even after getting loaded, what is there to like?

Michael, Trevor: GTAV: How could I like a selfish criminal and a violent sociopath? Franklin at least has some redeeming values, but not particularly likeable either.

What's his name? - RDR2: A plank of wood is more lively and interesting than this protagonist.

Max Payne - Max Payne 3: Let's be clear I love the original Max, I just hate the version written by Rockstar games. He is a miserable self loathing worthless burlap sack waste of space. Seems like a caricature.

Geralt - The Witcher Series: A giant jerk, who constantly acts like an ahole, and is especially disrespectful towards women, I quit playing all three games because of my revulsion of him.

Edited by m76
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2 hours ago, m76 said:

Everyone in XCOM:Chimera Squad: These are psychopaths, who revel in violence, and plop disgusting jokes between kills, while acting like Karens in between missions.

Niko Bellic - GTAIV: A petty criminal who acts like a petty criminal even after getting loaded, what is there to like?

Michael, Trevor: GTAV: How could I like a selfish criminal and a violent sociopath? Franklin at least has some redeeming values, but not particularly likeable either.

What's his name? - RDR2: A plank of wood is more lively and interesting than this protagonist.

Max Payne - Max Payne 3: Let's be clear I love the original Max, I just hate the version written by Rockstar games. He is a miserable self loathing worthless burlap sack waste of space. Seems like a caricature.

Geralt - The Witcher Series: A giant jerk, who constantly acts like an ahole, and is especially disrespectful towards women, I quit playing all three games because of my revulsion of him.

Wow you went to town on these characters. I agree with a few of them, mainly Michael and Trevor. Even though they had some good moments, they weren't redeemable people. As for Arthur Morgan, I gotta disagree on that. I may not have liked RDR2 as much as the first game, I still really like Arthur Morgan. I still prefer John Marston over him though. 

 

Conner from Assassin's Creed III was someone I wasn't a fan of. He had his reasons, but I felt he was just blah as a character. I much preferred the elder Assassin that lived in his house or whatever. I forgot his name. 

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I could honestly pick out any one of these main cast members from FFXIII and unleash one hell of a rant;

 

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But there is one that stands out, even amongst this motly crew of douche.

 

Snow.thumb.png.f5f679cb0bef0baf19721db3ae56e86e.png

 

I. HATE. THIS. GUY.

Snow is an irresponsible, selfish, self-righteous, egotistical, arrogant, ignorant prat that the game tries to pass off as a selfless hero!

(Warning, Some minor spoilers ahead)

Right the start of the game, he gets a load of innocent civilians killed, then the next time you see him he is hi-fiving his buddies and declaring himself a hero as he rides off to rescue his already doomed girlfriend like he's Captain America.

A quick point before I move on. A hero is confident, inspirational and charismatic, but also selfless, thoughtful and humble, usually even anonymous. Even if they have earned the right to call themselves a hero, they don't. Snow is none of those things.

Back to the point though, our "hero" getting those innocent people killed. Any remorse? Regret? A lump in his throat? No, of course not, he was only thinking of Sarah (The GF), the only lump he had was down the front of his trousers. While travelling through Palumpolum with Hope (Whose mother was one of the aforementioned civilians who died because of Snow), he's completely oblivious to the fact Hope hates his guts because he's to focused on "being the Hero". When Hope does eventually confront him, only then does he actually show some remorse. Eh, no Snow, you don't get to feel bad about what you did only when poor little you has to face the consequences, that's not how it works.

He's pretty much the same, carefree, annoying douchebag the entire game. All the main characters in FFXIII are there their own brand of terrible, but Snow is the worst. And when you're the worst protagonist in FFXIII, that is a very strong case for the worst video game protagonist of all time.

Even being played by Troy Baker couldn't salvage this waste of pixels. Thank about that.

Edited by Shagger
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5 hours ago, m76 said:

What's his name? - RDR2: A plank of wood is more lively and interesting than this protagonist.

Arthur was intentionally written to be both cold and a roughneck. Had he been picking daisies and singing Kumbayah, he would have completely ruined the game. To make the game, the main protagonist had to be a cold, unfeeling, hard ass. He’s a killer, and a big league thief.

He was written perfectly for the part in my opinion.

Micah on the other hand, was a truly worthless piece of shit. I wanted to knock him out every time I was near the asshole.

Edited by The Blackangel
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In addition to the aformentioned Delphine and all those shapes that fell down the stairs inside a ball from Final Fantasy XIII:

 

Roman Belic:

Wanna know what I find this guy so irritating, this vid form the sadly late, kitty0706, pretty much sums it up.

 

 

Lara Croft (original): 

I'm of the school that much prefer the new Tomb Raider games for multiple reasons. I am willing to forgive and even respect the earlier games to some degree since they were among the first of their kind, but the way they controlled frustrated me even back then. The mechanics, controls and the more visceral and mature nature of the new titles makes them superior in every way.

 

For me though the biggest disparity is the character itself.  The old Lara was arrogant, pompous, stuck up and only popularised as a fantasy for horny teenage boys.  Even in the Angelina Jolie movies I couldn't stand her!  The new Lara is more relatable, developed, compassionate and believable.

 

Talion (Shadow or Mordor): 

Yes, I did put the game's title in bold in brackets next to the charater in question on purpose because I'm willing to bet you have no idea who this guy is, EVEN if you have actully played the fucking game!  I've seen other characters described as wooden planks, but I am genuinely not playing it up here when I say this guy has so little personality I can't even find any words to describe him outside of "white guy".  I'll still maintain that Snow who @Shagger described is the worst character that Troy Baker has ever voiced, but at least that frosted tipped douche offers something to talk about!

Edited by Crazycrab
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7 hours ago, Crazycrab said:

For me though the biggest disparity is the character itself.  The old Lara was arrogant, pompous, stuck up and only popularised as a fantasy for horny teenage boys.  Even in the Angelina Jolie movies I couldn't stand her!  The new Lara is more relatable, developed, compassionate and believable.

 

I completely disagree. The NEW Lara is written like the girl next door, "what am I Doing here, oh I'm clumsy", but then does ten times more insane things than the original ever did. There is no amount of suspension of disbelief that can make her work as a plausible character. The old one was educated and physically able and proud of it, what the heck is wrong with that?  The new is more of a mary sue, because her abilities constantly get downplayed but still achieves unbelievable things.  It's just not realistic.

And you honestly think anyone got horny for this? Besides why do you act as if sexuality is a bad thing that should be eradicated?

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4 hours ago, m76 said:

I completely disagree. The NEW Lara is written like the girl next door, "what am I Doing here, oh I'm clumsy", but then does ten times more insane things than the original ever did. There is no amount of suspension of disbelief that can make her work as a plausible character. The old one was educated and physically able and proud of it, what the heck is wrong with that?  The new is more of a mary sue, because her abilities constantly get downplayed but still achieves unbelievable things.  It's just not realistic.

And you honestly think anyone got horny for this? Besides why do you act as if sexuality is a bad thing that should be eradicated?

 

That Lara Croft literally made the cover of Playboy, and I can totally understand why. It wasn't the pixelated tits, it was because the character being a fantasy treading closer to a young man's reality that any other character had in mainstream media. A hot, empowering, witty, big titted, smart action heroine that was way more relatable to the 90's geek than any movie or TV show had even got close to at the time. That's what gave her appeal, that's what made her attractive, not just the design (And mean design, I do mean what was in the minds of those that created her, graphical limitations aside) that was ultimately meant to have sex appeal from day one.

 

The new Lara is way deeper and more complex, and she needed to be. She's still as smart and determined as the original Lara Croft, but with a greater sense of vulnerability and maturity. She just feels that much more real and fleshed out. The design is still that of a beautiful young woman, but not a fantasy like the old Lara was intended to be. Sorry, but you're wrong. Whilst I personally would not list the old Lara as a bad protagonist, more a product of her time, the new Lara is by far superior.

Edited by Shagger
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5 hours ago, m76 said:

I completely disagree. The NEW Lara is written like the girl next door, "what am I Doing here, oh I'm clumsy", but then does ten times more insane things than the original ever did. There is no amount of suspension of disbelief that can make her work as a plausible character. The old one was educated and physically able and proud of it, what the heck is wrong with that?  The new is more of a mary sue, because her abilities constantly get downplayed but still achieves unbelievable things.  It's just not realistic.

 

All of that is fair enough,  I see lots of people that dislike the new Lara and prefer the old one for those reasons and that’s fine... Then you kept going on...

 

Quote

And you honestly think anyone got horny for this? Besides why do you act as if sexuality is a bad thing that should be eradicated?

 

You are WAY outa line, again!  I never said or implied anything close to that so stop trying to put words in my mouth.  One game I enjoyed very much this gen was Tales of Berseria.  The main character is dark and has a tragic back story that lets you sympathize with her, even when her actions and attitude are very questionable which they frequently are.  Also, she looks like this:

 

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I think I said on another thread recently that my top game on PS4 was Horizon Zero Dawn and part of that was because of how witty, smart, empathetic and fun the main protagonist Aloy was.  All this in spite of the fact that she is VERY ugly, you would have to be blind drunk and high on magic mushrooms to want to sleep with... Ugh… this (sarcasm):

 

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So @m76, if you think I'm someone who thinks that "sexuality is a bad thing that should be eradicated" you better back the fuck off right now!  I got no issue with sexy characters, what I don't like is shallow characters regardless of how they look.  What I actully said was:

 

12 hours ago, Crazycrab said:

The old Lara was arrogant, pompous, stuck up and only popularised as a fantasy for horny teenage boys.

 

The reason I said is that, like it or not, it's the truth.  Ask any straight teenage boy to describe the "perfect woman", what you think they are going to say?

 

Rich as hell - check

Big Boobs - check

Athletic - check

Tight clothes - check

Action-packed lifestyle with guns and speedboats - check

Sound like anybody we know?

 

Like I said before I do respect the old Tomb Raider games, even though I don’t enjoy them very much.  Lara was one of the first lone playable female protagonists to get mainstream success paving the way for others to follow and they deserve credit for that.

 

That doesn't change the fact one of the main reasons if not THE main reason they got that success was the sexualized design of the character and her marketing.  They obviously weren't confident that a game with a female on the cover would sell on the merits of its gameplay alone.  So they pandered to everything that I said above and you what, at the time they were absolutely right.  That was over 20 years ago, female characters don't need this shallow anymore and as I said before they can still be sexy.  Hell, even the new Lara ain't exactly hideous, it’s just that one was a product of the time and the other is a product of evolution.

 

1098f203bf82970f304e54691cea2656.jpg

Edited by Crazycrab
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2 hours ago, Shagger said:

It wasn't the pixelated tits, it was because the character being a fantasy treading closer to a young man's reality

Young man's reality, What is that? Again, I don't get why young men should be ashamed of being attracted to hot women.

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A hot, empowering, witty, big titted, smart action heroine that was way more relatable to the 90's geek than any movie or TV show had even got close to at the time.

You do realize that this was the period when Sliders, Buffy, Cleopatra 2525 and tons of similar shows were on the air?

First Wave had an actual porn star in it's main cast. And you dare say there were no attractive women on TV so your fictional geeks had to satisfy themselves with pixel tits? Couldn't be further from the truth.  I don't know why this revisionist narrative was created, but Tomb Raider was a success because it was challenging and fun, much more challenging than most games at the time. It was a completely new experience, and not because of the female protagonist. There were games before that had female player characters.

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I do mean what was in the minds of those that created her, graphical limitations aside) that was ultimately meant to have sex appeal from day one.

From your tone it seems that you think sex appeal is something to be shunned.  Why?

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Sorry, but you're wrong.

An opinion by definition cannot be wrong. As it represents a person's views on a topic. The only way an opinion can be wrong, if it's a lie and doesn't actually represent their true opinion. IE: Pretend for virtue points or other reasons. But I stand by mine. The old lara croft is much more plausible. Because I don't go by superficialities like tit size. An uncertain and skittish girl suddenly overcoming every obstacle much greater ones than the original ever had to deal with is not plausible. 

Not to mention that the old tomb raider games were actually about exploration and the enemy was the environment for the most part. While new lara is like rambo, killing people in the dozens. This world has gone insane, murder and violence is accepted like the norm, but sexual attraction is something that should be repressed and downplayed.

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I have no problem with the game itself, but I hate Lara. No woman has a 10 inch waist with DDD tits. It's not going to happen. I'm not a DDD, and my waist is more than 10", but the depiction of the "perfect woman" sickens me. If that's what gets boys horny, then they need to rethink their priorities, because that kind of physique does not exist. Lower your expectations because you will not find a woman that looks like that, unless you're a pedophile that wants to force a tit job on a 5 year old. If you can't be happy with somewhere between a A-D cup woman, then marry your right hand, and subscribe to Hustler. At least there you get edited pics that try to give you what you want.

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1 hour ago, The Blackangel said:

I have no problem with the game itself, but I hate Lara. No woman has a 10 inch waist with DDD tits. It's not going to happen. I'm not a DDD, and my waist is more than 10", but the depiction of the "perfect woman" sickens me. If that's what gets boys horny, then they need to rethink their priorities, because that kind of physique does not exist. Lower your expectations because you will not find a woman that looks like that, unless you're a pedophile that wants to force a tit job on a 5 year old. If you can't be happy with somewhere between a A-D cup woman, then marry your right hand, and subscribe to Hustler. At least there you get edited pics that try to give you what you want.

 

Well, that's an alarming connection to make. First, you'll never find a 5yo with a DDD rack (It's a thought that's as disturbing as it is confusing and I don't want to even attempt to picture it) and just because somebody offers that kind of attention to an obviously sexualized character does not make that individual is a pervert. All it means is that character is obviously sexualized.

 

My Avatar on this forum is Velvet from Tales of Berseria, a character I love, not because her default costume has her "stuff" half hanging out, but because she's great character. If there is someone out there who's only interested in Velvet because of how she's presented then... yeah, I do feel a need to tell them to grow up, but it's still not their fault the developers designed her that way. I don't mind a character being sexy, I just prefer it when he/she is also a fleshed out, real character. One does not have to be pug ugly to be relatable, even if that is more realistic.

Edited by Shagger
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