Slimybug

So as a massive Disney fan, I finally decided to delve in to the 20-year old game Kingdom Hearts. Only to find the story is nigh-indecipherable. So I've prepared a LENGTHY post showing my confusion in the first third of the game alone! And I'm told this is the SIMPLEST story of the games!
Chapter 1: Destiny Islands
Sora, Riku, and Kairi are friends on an island called Destiny Island. They talk about how Kairi is from another town, and how they want to travel to see what else is out there. They talk about “other worlds,” saying things like “If there are other worlds out there, why’d we end up on this one.” This makes it very confusing what they’re talking about. Are they just talking about other places, beyond the sea, or do they already know about the literal other worlds that will factor into this story? I’d like to know more about these characters and the world they already inhabit, and how much they know of the world, or worlds, outside it.Heck, Sora has a mother there that makes a brief voice appearance, only to never be heard from again!
Meanwhile, in a kingdom ruled by King Mickey, the king departs unexpectedly, only leaving a note. “Not sure why, but the stars have been blinking out, one by one. And that means disaster can’t be far behind. I hate to leave you all, but I’ve got to check into it. There’s someone with a “key.” The key to our survival. So I need you and Goofy to find him and stick with him. Got it? We need the key or we’re doomed. So go to Traverse Town and find Leon. He’ll point you in the right direction.”
Okay, so clearly Mickey knows more about what’s going on here, like what this key is and why it’s their salvation, but he doesn’t say, and I’m not sure its ever explained. 
Goofy and Donald get in a “gummi ship” to go to a place called Traverse Town, taking with them Jiminy Cricket. Jiminy says his world has disappeared. So it seems that when a star blinks out, a world goes with it, indicating these worlds are different planets we’re going to be travelling to. Still, Goofy & Donald talk about how they can’t let on where their from to protect the “World Order.”
Then one day on Destiny Island, a darkness overtakes the land, with a giant black orb floating above it. Riku cryptically states “The door has opened. Now we can go to the outside world! Riku wants to step through the orb. But then he disappears, and suddenly Sora has a giant sword in his hand shaped like a key! Then he too gets absorbed into the black hole.
 
Chapter 2: Traverse Town
Goofy and Donald witness a star go out just as the darkness consumes Sora’s world.
Sora wakes up on a new world called Traverse Town. So if this darkness is what’s destroying worlds, why did it transport Sora somewhere else? And Riku too, apparently. Riku wasn’t talking like the world was being destroyed, just like they were going somewhere. So is it a destroyer of worlds aor a transporter? And when Sora appears in Traverse Town, he says “I’m on another world,” like he immediately knows he’s been transported to another planet, not just somewhere not his home (see the opening paragraph as to why this is confusing.) In fact, when he asks Cid the store manager if he’s in another world, Cid says “Not sure what you’re talking about, but this aint your island!”
Sora sees those same creatures appear and literally steal a person’s heart before he and Donald and Goofy all run into Leon and his friends, Yuffie and Aerith. So here’s the explanation, right?
They tell us the creatures are called the Heartless, and that they are attracted by the darkness in everyone’s heart. They tell of a man named Ansem who was studying the Heartless and wrote down a report whose pages have been scattered all over the worlds. King Mickey is apparently looking for these pages. Meanwhile, the keyblade is a weapon against the Heartless that chooses its master, having chosen Sora.
So...There’s some species that are randomly attacking worlds, and some guy from somewhere who was studying them, who Mickey somehow heard about and decided to chase down his notebook pages across the world, while instructing Goofy and Donald to go after the guy who has a special weapon, giving them 1/10th of the information he knew about it? And he knew about all of this how? And do Leon, Yuffie, and Aerith, know about all this? What more can they tell us? Who are they (I know they’re from Final Fantasy) and how do they know Mickey? Mickey actually told Donald & Goofy to find Leon, because he would point him “in the right direction” to find the Keyblade. But near as I can tell, they all, (Donald, Goofy, Leon & co.) find Sora completely by accident. Sora doesn’t ask these questions, of course.. But because he is the keyblade wielder, Donald & Goofy ask him to come with him looking for the king.
So the basic story for now is that Sora is travelling from world to world with Donald and Goofy, them looking for the king, him looking for his friends. Just randomly looking in entire planets.
Also, Merlin appears in Traverse Town, saying he’s been asked by the king to teach Sora magic. Meanwhile, we get a scene showing that a collection of Disney villains are somehow behind the darkness/Heartless, led by Maleficent.
 
Chapter 3: Travelling worlds
While in Wonderland, Sora sees Alice, but she mysteriously disappears. He then finds a special keyhole that he sort of instinctively points his keyblade at, firing a laser-like beam into it.
In Tarzan’s jungle, Sora once again finds a keyhole and shoots a laser into it. We then cach a glimpse of the Disney villains saying that the boy remains “blissfully unaware of our other plan.” Wait, were we supposed to be aware of their first plan? I thought the Heartless were just randomly destroying (or not destroying?) worlds.
So Sora goes back to Traverse town and only NOW do Leon and the others tell him that these keyholes are found in every world, leading to the heart of the world. The worlds are separated from each other, but opening the world's keyhole will allow other beings to enter.These are what the Heartless come through, and that Sora can lock them to prevent the Heartless from coming through and destroying the worlds.
Riku then shows up, with no explanation of where he’s been or what he knows, and promptly vanishes again.
The FF characters then tell Sora about Maleficent...sorta. They say she’s a witch who’s been “using the Heartless for years,” and that she’s the reason they lost their world. Doesn’t really explain anything, but okay.
They do at least mention that Ansem was actually the ruler of their world. Maleficent, meanwhile, has Riku by her side, spying on the group, seeing that Sora’s *gasp* with other people, meaning he must have replaced Riku, and just like that he’s apparently on her side...Doing what, I don’t know. But Sora seals up Traverse Town’s keyhole.
 
Jafar and Maleficent appear saying this world will be theirs as soon as they find the keyhole (because the Heartless will be able to take it over???), but they need all 7 princesses of heart to open the final door. Whatever that all means. Still not sure what these two are using the Heartless for.
Sora seals the keyhole in Agrabah, but Jasmine, one of the seven princesses, is kidnapped by Riku. In return, Malfeicent shows Riku Kairi and tells him to go to her.
The team gets swallowed by Monstro-in-space. Riku shows up and tries to kidnap Pinocchio, saying he can help Kairi, who has apparently lost her heart (???). Riku goes to Hook’s ship where Kairi is, comatose. Maleficent says the Heartless took her heart, but he can help her by helping them find the 7 Princesses of Heart, to open a door to the Heart of all worlds.
Well, that finally explains what Maleficent’s plot is, a bit. But it doesn’t seemt to have anything to do with the Heartless attacacking and destroying worlds. However, Maleficent seems to have the power to control the Heartless, which she gives to Riku.

One of the things that's always frustrated me about Mario as a franchise is that, despite existing for 41 years, we've never gotten any info on the character of Mario himself. Has any other character existed for so long and become so iconic with so little known about him?
 
Sure, he saves Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom from Bowser from time to time, but where is he from? Our world? Their world? What's his story?

In the original 1985 game it establishes that Mario saves Princess Toadstool from King Koopa, who has invaded The Mushroom Kingdom. But who is he? Where's he from? The animated series The Super Mario Bros. Super Show seemed to answer this back in the day, saying that he was from Brooklyn and he and Luigi were sucked into the Mushroom Kingdom where they helped Peach.

The show even opened with the line "Me and my brother Luigi had just rescued Princess Toadstool from King Koopa, and were looking for the magic that would set her kingdom free, and get us home to Brooklyn." So, heck, the show seemed to exist in perfect continuity with the game!

Exactly when Charles Martinet started voicing the character, giving him a thick Italian accent, is a bit unclear, but it definitely didn't become super famous until Super Mario 64. Meanwhile, the Brooklyn storyline was used for the 1993 movie.

Then, all continuity was destroyed.
In 1995, came the game Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island, a prequel to the main games in which Mario is born in Yoshi's world, which is presumably the same universe as the Mushroom Kingdom. So he is from their world, not ours! But that's all we're given.
Adding to that, in 1996, Super Mario 64 came out, featuring Charles Martinet's Italian-accented voice, seemingly destroying the idea that the show was in continuity with the games, and further denying the idea that he was from Brooklyn. So...is he from Italy? Is he from the Mushroom Kingdom? What? Who is this guy? WHO IS HE?
Heck, there's not even a story for his evil twin Wario. Who is he? Why is he so much like Mario? Geesh, this is insane! Again, no character has existed for so long, and become so iconic, without an actual...character!

Some time ago, a fan wrote a nice summation of their own little unofficial story, saying that Mario and Luigi were taken from the Mushroom Kingdom's world as babies, after the events of Yoshi's Island, and raised in Brooklyn. However, they were raised by Italian immigrants, which is where they got their accents (even though, as evidenced by millions of first-generation Americans, that's now how that works). Anyone remember this, and know where to find it, or who wrote it?

And I don't even know what the comics have had to say about this!

I'm hoping the movie might shed some more light on this, but it will probably just be in it's own continuity.