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Would you rather be becoming an artist of your choice or just being an ordinary job person?

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Artists need a lot of balance. I used to be one and it gets crazy. At one point I couldn't walk anywhere because drawings and supplies were all over the floor. I prefer simplicity.  Art requires a filling of the well. 'Fill the well' phrase from The Artist's Way. I live in the middle of nature and I'm surprised I haven't picked up art again. I fantasize about it, being that guy with an easel drinking wine. But...Damn I need to try it one last time. But I'm scared of the insanity that ensues. It becomes an obsession. I don't want anymore attachments. I probably don't even have the mind for the level of detail anymore. I have to try one last time...I can't; you can't. you can't. I have to man...why you stopping me? I'm not stopping you, I'm trying to help...Like last time? That was a different time...What makes this any different? Because you have grown. Just try one little drawing...But I shake now. You always did...I don't have supplies. You never did... Yes I did. No, you carved life with your own hands...That doesn't make sense. Art never did...I can't. You already are...But...But what?Shit...

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I would rather just be & stay me. While it would be nice to have other talents, I don't want to be somebody else. People can adapt to situations & even their jobs & learn to turn off the noise & confusion when they get home & learn not to dwell on it. 

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