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StaceyPowers

Take the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale Test

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9 hours ago, LadyDay said:

I'm fortunate that nobody have been deliberately mean to me. Things can hurt when they are coming from the community around you though, not from any one person in general. And it makes it harder, because there's not one person in particular who's clearly being a jerk and you start to think "can they all be wrong or am I really such-and-such?" 

This sounds sort of like how it felt for me being autistic before I discovered I am autistic. I just felt like a failing neurotypical person, because so many people around me seemed to react to my social differences so badly.

2 hours ago, The Blackangel said:

When your mother reminds you daily how worthless you are, and that she wished she had aborted you, while your father beats the shit out of you for fun, I don't think the community has much to do with that. And when your uncle tries to kill you at the age of 2, I don't think the community has much to do with that either.

Surviving that with any self-esteem at all is pretty impressive to me. When you're a child, you have zero psychological defenses, and that shit instantly gets ingrained.

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11 hours ago, StaceyPowers said:

This sounds sort of like how it felt for me being autistic before I discovered I am autistic. I just felt like a failing neurotypical person, because so many people around me seemed to react to my social differences so badly.

Yeah. There are stigmas build into crowds. I hope you know by now that being different doesn't mean being wrong. 🙂 

 

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14 hours ago, The Blackangel said:

When your mother reminds you daily how worthless you are, and that she wished she had aborted you, while your father beats the shit out of you for fun, I don't think the community has much to do with that. And when your uncle tries to kill you at the age of 2, I don't think the community has much to do with that either.

Wow, you've been through some things! That must have been more tough and painful than I can imagine. Nobody should be treated like that, let alone a child! I figure nobody ever taught you such things as empathy and caring about others, only the opposite. 

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21 hours ago, The Blackangel said:

 

Who said I have any?

I was going to say you demand respect from those you associate with, and that is a sign of self-esteem, but I suppose that is more precisely a sign of self-respect, which isn't quite the same thing, I'm the opposite. I like myself, but I have to make a conscious effort to treat myself with respect.

12 hours ago, LadyDay said:

Yeah. There are stigmas build into crowds. I hope you know by now that being different doesn't mean being wrong. 🙂 

 

I have better tools to communicate with others now about those differences, so that helps a lot.

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